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Old 09-26-2006, 08:44 PM   #1
Barry
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Default Barry's Sky Red Line Sent Him To The Hospital

Well, it all started when I arrived to pick up my Red Line. My lovely wife as well as my son was there to greet me. When I walked into the showroom I could feel it; the tightning of my face muscles, eyes beagn to squint and tears began to flow. There it was...beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, a goddess, a work of art! It look's exactly like Ernest's Mayhem..except a different color a little smaller, different model and manufacturer ( gitter-done ):lol: The symptoms began then so I did'nt pay it much mind but as soon as I climbed in..I really started to feel it. I was hopeing no one else noticed my symptoms. So when I started it up I knew I had a severe problem. My son said " Dad did you hear the Blow Off Valve? I told him I had just eaten a Checkerburger and it wasn't agreeing with me. He said "no not that..your car has a blow off valve to release the pressure from the turbo". That's goota be good!I said. So as I said goodbye to the staff at the dealership, they all asked if I was okay. I said "sure, why do you ask", they said "well you look a little......different". I assured them I was fine. My wife said " let's go cruissin" so off we went...in different car's! She has a base Sky exactly like Ernest's Mayhem, except a little different..well you get the picture. As we cruised down US Hwy 19; side by side then we leaped frog each other ( first she led, then me ) I got the feeling that Moses had when he parted the Red Sea. People would slow down,then speed up,then pulled along side of us. All eyes were on us. At stop light's it was really an experience. Folkes would honk theire horns, blurt out " fantastic car", "what is it", etc etc. Well at then end of dinner my wife asked if I was okay and that I looked a bit ...different. I told her that I needed to go to the hospital.....she agreed. We pulled up at the emergency room door and there were several Dr's and nurses standing there. As soon a they saw me they took me straight in. They have seen the symptoms befor. I had an acute case of "Kappauphoria" Where your mouth is stuck in the exagerated shape of a smile...you know: ear to ear. One Dr. said everyone who has bought a Pontaic Solstice has this problem. I blurted out " It's not a Pontiac...It's a Saturn Sky Red Line" as my blood pressure went thru the roof. He said you mean like Ernest's Mayhem except a differant color a little smaller? I said yes..yes...yes. What can I do about it...this hurts. I can't drink, I can't smoke and I can barely speak how can I go on this way. The Dr said the only therapy is to drive your other car now and again and then the nurse said his other car is a Sky as well. The Dr looked at my wife and said.." he's terminal" So I have been driving around town since Friday nite with this huge smile on my face. I can't fight it and there is no known cure. I have contacted the CDC in Atlanta and they have been looking into " Kappauphoria " as well. They will keep us posted. Mean while I will have to " GRIN and Bear It "! I have been driving Saturn's since 1998. With my new Sky Red Line; that makes car # 13 from the same dealer. The Saturn I just sold was a 2004 Saturn Ion Red Line that was supercharged. I thought that was fast. My three son's all have 2004 Saturn Ion Red Lines as well, so they know their cars. When you floor it it most definetly pushes you back. More so than our Supercharged 5 spd trannies. There is no mistakeing that this car is a serious player. There is nothing that I can complain about on this car. I am 6'2' and 225 lbs and it fits like a glove. The attention that it gets is fantastic and now it is as fast as it looks. Well I must go for now for another treatment. There is a 7 Eleven in Orlando that has a sale on a box of matches. See Ya!
...
"I SEE Red Lines "
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Old 09-26-2006, 09:07 PM   #2
Uzzy
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Default Re: Barry's Sky Red Line Sent Him To The Hospital

Hmmmm, seems to have effected your spelling somewhat as well. It's to be expected I suppose. Hopefully you don't turn green too, then you'll look exactly like this guy ---->
...
Aut viam inveniam aut faciam
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If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find him, maybe you can hire Uzzy.
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Old 10-03-2006, 11:52 AM   #3
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Default Re: Barry's Sky Red Line Sent Him To The Hospital

I live in the orlando Area 2 by the millenium mall, i just wish i could see the redline upclose i wanna sell my toyota to get 1 but still gotta wait a lil longer .... and btw i will probably get the same thing when i get it
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Old 10-10-2006, 04:14 PM   #4
Superman
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Default Re: Barry's Sky Red Line Sent Him To The Hospital

Hahaha, great story Barry.

Hopefully my wife and I won't catch "Kappauphoria" too bad when we finally get ours.
...
- Aaron

'04 ION RedLine (Electric Blue)
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Old 10-26-2006, 10:46 PM   #5
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Default Re: Barry's Sky Red Line Sent Him To The Hospital

Ah man that was hilarious. I am greeeeen with envy!
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Tupperware cars FTW!!!
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